The Seven Year Non-Itch

IMG_6225The quintessential anniversary post. This year, honoring seven years with my perfectly imperfect husband. No doubt, he’s the guy for me and each day I’m thankful to call him mine. I mean, just look, he appeases me with grainy selfies on hot summer days while our munchkins wail for us to sing Let It Go for the 14th time. If that isn’t love, what is?

Oh, I’ll show ya … love is photo booths too:COFFEE(1)I think these snapshots will forever be some of my favorites of us. It’s our fun, carefree selves. The ones who dress up and go on dates, drink wine and dance, forgetting that there is a real life that looks nothing like this most days.

Seven years together has brought new meaning to love. Raw, real love that knows much more about tears than smiles. The kind of love that stays because it’s the hard, messy thing to do. The kind of love which knows deep down that hard things are always the best thing because they build strength, endurance and best of all, more love.  We’re in a season of hard things, but we’re choosing to define them as good things in our life story; facing them together, as a unified front. It has made what some normally call the seven year itch, very non-itchy for us. Doing this life alone is not appealing to either of us. Rather, doing it together seems like pure relief. I don’t have to journey life’s mountains alone because I’ve got a protector, a guide and a best friend by my side. So throw them stones, these Bossios ain’t goin’ down.

I think I’ve mentioned before, but our first year of marriage was anything but an extended honeymoon. It had glimpses of happiness, of course, but for the most part I think we both wondered what we had gotten in to. We fought, we slammed doors, we struggled to become one in many, many ways. Dominic and I are both independent, stubborn souls – meshing isn’t in our nature, because, well, I’m right and you’re wrong … obviously ;) Year two eased up on us, year three followed suite and since, every year has gotten increasingly better. Just think how much bliss we’ll be living in when we celebrate 60 years together? So much you’ll gag at our lovey dovey-ness, I’m sure.

Seven years in we’re still learning about one another, practicing self-sacrifice for the betterment of our family and taking things one step at a time. Our marriage is far from perfect, but it’s one of those things the Lord is using as a refining fire for each of us. Growing a strong marriage has been much like growing in my relationship with the Lord – the more it’s tested, the more it learns to withstand.

This year has brought many trials to our family  – an unexpected death of a very close friend, my parent’s divorce and troubling illnesses among  family and friends. Each of these has tested our marriage. Our reactions to stress and immense pain could have easily turned us against one another. Pain is a fickle thing like that. It grows harsh words and uncontrollable feelings. Thankfully, Dominic and I have been able to ebb and flow in our support of one another. I get my bad days and he gets his. I pull him up from his depths and he cheers me out of my wallowing.

Are we winning because we’re awesome? Not quite. I’d give much more credit to prayer, a stint in marriage counseling and our telltale stubbornness to love when we don’t feel like it and say I’m sorry like it’s going out of style.

Despite everything we’ve encountered this year I’m hopeful for year eight. We’re more of a team than we’ve ever been and we’re taking care of each other amidst all the life that seems to be flying at us nonstop. Our marriage isn’t always in the season of summer, but there are many blessed moments of sunshine. It’s a breathe of calm to know that all these “for worse” times will be redeemed with “for better” ones. And what joy it will bring to us both, to look back, hand in hand and see what we’ve endured together.

If that ain’t love, don’t know what is.

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  1. says

    Congratulations on 7 years, your snapshots are so adorable. My hubby and I are at 6 1/2 years and still going strong. We have had quite a bit of stress on us these last couple of months, but I find that we pull together as a team so much more when the going gets rough.

    Cheers to another 7 years

    • says

      Honestly, it kind of sucks that stress brings us closer – who wants stress?!? But I totally agree that it's a blessing to have someone to lean into and mutually support.

  2. says

    Happy anniversary! It's funny, you mention that "itch"…. what is that? I'm not feeling it, either. (We were 7 years on May 5) Isn't it wonderful?! I'm so happy for you- many more happy anniversaries to come!