I woke up this morning to a crying toddler distraught about the movie she wanted to watch. “Moo! Moo!” she shrieked. I gathered my bearings as she shoved my glasses onto my face – upside down. I responded with a whisper, reminding her that our baby was still sleeping, only to see that the “moo” she desperately wanted to watch had been cracked in half moments before she woke me. Goodbye Hello Kitty, rest in peace.
We tiptoed out of the bedroom to find a new movie as I explained that Hello Kitty had had an “uh oh” and was broken. She settled onto the couch with the Wiggles and I excused myself to the bathroom. That was an easy transition. I immediately sent my hubby a text, “Pray for me today”. He had been up since 4:30 am and was on his way to a meeting two hours away, but of course, he replied with a sweet, “Of course :)”. Golly it is sure nice to have him on my team. But still, I felt an overwhelming, “Can I do this everyday? Did I make the right decision in wanting to be a home full-time?”
I know in my heart I want to be here. I feel content and loved and purposeful. But that doesn’t make it easy. Actually, it makes it harder. I have to stay on my game lest Satan plant those questioning thoughts in my mind day after day, moment after moment. Daily I have to choose to stay in the Spirit of longing. Longing to be more Christ-like. Longing to fulfill my calling as a wife and mama.
Then, I opened up Facebook, you know, to see what the rest of civilization was up to this morning, and I read this:
Pray to be stronger men!
Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers.
Pray for powers equal to your task.
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