I’ve been staring at those words for a long time, “The Okay Mom”. For quite some time I’ve been wanting to write a post on that topic. A little reflection of being mediocre and the perfectness of that.
I wrote this a few months ago – July sometime I think. It took me a really really long time to fall into the groove with two kids. Like, one or two days out of the week went well, that’s it. Thankfully, everyone has aged a bit – me included – and we’re handling the days much better. It makes me happy to look back on reflections like this and know that seasons come and go. Sometimes rather quickly. I guess that means they can come again too …
I will never be great in the eyes of the world, or even Pinterest for that matter. I will never write a book and I will never turn my home into a holiday wonderland. Most days, I barely keep my head above water. Between dishes and laundry, nap time and bathing, it seems a miracle I make it to the store once or twice a week.
Some mornings I wake up and I feel ready for bed. The day can just feel overwhelming. Both the physical and emotional aspects. Truly, motherhood kind of feels overwhelming. And I’m just doing my best, always doing my best, but somehow often falling short. Short of what I hope for, what I know I can do, what my family deserves. I suppose it’s the Lord’s way of keeping me humble. There is just so much to do to keep my babies safe, growing, learning … not to mention nurturing my marriage, keeping the floors crawl-able and remembering to brush my teeth. Hear me? Busyness. Busyness I say.
Then I have days of realization, more moments actually. Moments that really resonate with me. When I hear truth and grasp onto it as my life preserver. It’s usually when I’m nursing Max to sleep for his nap or when Jemma grabs a blanket and tells me to sit on the couch to “swuggin” – her darling version of snuggling. And I thank the Lord for those moments. Those glimpses of what’s greater. It’s when I’m reminded that in my eyes I’m just okay, but in others, I have the ability to be so much more. If only I’d just stop measuring myself by the world’s standards.
Those times remind me that my cupboards will never be truly organized which is why they don’t have glass fronts. And why my guest room looks more like a storage room until 2 hours before the guests arrive. And why our cars don’t fit in the garage for no real good reason other than the painful fact that no matter how much I try to simplify, I’m apparently still some species of a pack rat. See … it’s all about perspective.
Bottom line, I’m just an okay mom to the world. But to my family, I’m striving to be the very best and that makes me the best. And for those times when I fall short, I use those moments to point them to the Lord since he’s truly the only perfect one out there.
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