When It’s Hard to Be a Mom

I never want to complain about being a mom because it’s truly my greatest joy. I would never trade it and I very rarely wish for my pre-baby days.

But.

But …

Some days, some weeks, it’s really hard to be a mom.

Maybe because it’s nonstop. Maybe because I always feel like I’m on-call. Maybe because I have no foreseeable break on the horizon. It could also be the endless poo, crumbs, toys – the feeling so alone without ever actually being alone.

I’ve dreamt about running away; I’ve been lost in the memories of life before children. When my highest priority was browsing sales at the mall and painting my nails while watching a new Redbox. But I always come back – to here, to now. Because this reality? This chaos? I’ve always wanted it to be mine.

And now it is.

And now I’m crazy.

Crazy in love with two little people who call me mom. Who wear me out and fill me with joy, steal all my sleep and give me the oomph to tackle the hard days.

Jemmie, Max … thank you for loving me through hard days. And someday, will you please pose and smile for a regular kind of photo with me? XOXO, Mama