Reflections on Jemma’s Birth, 20 Months Later

Welcome to the June 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Embracing Your Birth Experience

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have written about at least one part of their birth experience that they can hold up and cherish. 

32 weeks baby 2

It has taken a long time for me to feel comfortable and confident with experiencing another birth. So much of my first was a surprise. I walked away with a beautiful, healthy baby girl and sadly, a hefty dose of fear.

When I found out I was expecting again I was thrilled! No amount of pain, birth trauma, or surprise can outweigh the joy of mothering your children. But I was also fearful. What if I had to transfer again? What if my birth took days? What if I couldn’t do it?

I shared a bucket of tears with my midwife as we relived my first birth and I asked questions to better understand. I felt like verbal processing would help me to overcome my fear and fully embrace my first birth experience. Thankfully, it did. I was able to wrap up my first birth in a nice little package and write “Good job, you did it!” on the tag.

Even though many elements were a surprise I have been able to accept and acknowledge the troubles I faced … and most of all, the troubles I overcame. Part of this processing has been to focus on all the positives; everything that did go according to plan.

  • I chose an amazing support team. All throughout my birth I was emotionally and physically supported by the best birth partner, That Dad Dominic, my two midwives and their apprentices. Even when I transferred to the hospital, they were there cheering me on and advocating on my behalf.
  • I learned so much about birth. Many of the things I read about birth, I was able to experience. I walked through contractions, climbed stairs, went outside, had acupuncture, was adjusted by a chiropractor, laid down, sat backwards on a chair, took a shower, had counter pressure, had an epidural, and pushed while squatting, on all fours, on the toilet, in a bed, and in the tub.
  • My birth ended vaginally. When I arrived at the hospital, 32 hours after my water broke, I was definitely in the window of a recommended c-section according to hospital procedures. Thankfully, they allowed me to get an epidural so I could rest and resume pushing before considering a c-section. Eight hours after checking in I birthed my baby vaginally – I wasn’t at my location of choice, but I did birth in my preferred manner.
  • My baby was happy and healthy through it all. Even though I went through quite a bit, Jemma was never once in distress. She was born pink and squishy and snuggled up to me in her first moments earth side. Holding her in my arms made everything worth it!

By focusing on the positives of my birth experience I’ve been able to approach brother’s birth with a clean slate. I understand things could go the same way, better, or worse. More importantly, I know I accomplished a great thing when I birthed Jemma, and I know I can do it again.


Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting! Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants: (This list will be live and updated by afternoon June 12 with all the carnival links.)

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  1. says

    You are going to rock this birth :) Kieran's birth was such an incredible learning experience – while it did not go as planned, I feel so empowered knowing what my body was capable of!

  2. Shannon at The Artfu says

    I like that you were able to process and find the good in your birth even if initially it wasn't what you wanted.

  3. ThatMamaGretchen says

    Thanks, Dionna! I'm feeling really confident about this birth … I learned so much from my first and am sure it will only get better with each baby :)

  4. says

    Good for you! You've been through it all, and you have the power to have a beautiful birth very soon! We're cheering for you!

  5. Erica @childorganics says

    Each birth is a learning process, that's for sure. I've had three completely different births, I learned something about myself each time. I look forward to your future birth story. Congratulations.

  6. says

    Great post. I totally understand that fear. You will do great. Just like you did with Jemma.

  7. says

    Regardless of what happens this time I heard so much power in your first birth – wow! You exhibited some amazing strength.

  8. says

    Totally understand your fears and I like how you've changed them around and taken a new perspective. You will do great! Will be praying for you and the little man <3

  9. says

    A friend read " birthing from within" by PamEngland and it really helped with her deal/work through her fears of another unplanned birthing experience.

  10. ThatMamaGretchen says

    Thanks so much :) Prayers are appreciated!

  11. ThatMamaGretchen says

    I love that you've embraced each of your experiences for their individual uniqueness.

  12. ThatMamaGretchen says

    Thanks so much for the encouragement! It's such a blessing to have the support from like-minded mamas :)

  13. says

    What a great approach to focus on the positives :) I think we should be doing it at all times in life and that it’s particularly helpful during giving birth. I will be able to tell how that worked for me in person next month!

  14. ThatMamaGretchen says

    Blessings to you in the next month! I'll be sending positive thoughts your way!

  15. hobomama says

    You really did accomplish a great thing! I'm glad you're moving forward with such positivity. I had to do the same thing, of reprocessing my first birth, before I could move on with confidence to my second. And my second went great! :) Best wishes to you!

  16. ThatMamaGretchen says

    Thanks so much! Here's to successful second births :)

  17. says

    Great story. And good luck with your next one. It's never the same.I had a very similar first birth story. Before my second, I sort of thought, well, I know I can pretty much do anything after that one. I wish you all the best.

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