Thoughts on Time Magazine, Supporting ALL Mamas, and Advocating for the Motherless

I Am Mom! Enough! Carnival buttonWelcome to the I Am Mom! Enough! Carnival hosted by Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama and Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children.
This Carnival is dedicated to empowering ALL parents who practice and promote and peaceful, loving, attachment parenting philosophy. We have asked other parents to help us show the critics and the naysayers that attachment parenting is beautiful, uplifting, and unbelievably beneficial and NORMAL!
In addition to the Carnival, Joni from Tales of a Kitchen Witch and Jennifer from True Confessions of a Real Mommy are co-hosting a Linky Party. Please stop by either blog to share any of your posts on the topic.
Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants. Post topics are wide and varied, and every one is worth a read.

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What an uproar one picture can create. It can spark controversy. Bring people together or isolate them. It can provoke thought. It made me think, that’s for sure …

It truly is a blessing to join with the natural parenting community to extend a warm welcome to all mamas; mamas who are doing their very best to nurture, care for, and love their children. We’re all on the same team. We are all weary of decisions we make. We all pray and hope that we make a positive impact on our children each day. We are all striving to be the best we can be. Wouldn’t you agree?

Time Magazine recently asked, “Are You Mom Enough?” in their cover article focused on attachment parenting. My response is, of course, I am mom enough. I. AM. MOM. ENOUGH. period. No question about it. God wouldn’t have blessed me with the children I have if he wasn’t prepared to equip me to be exactly what they need. I am enough, because He is enough.

I hope other mamas feel the same way. Being mom enough has nothing to do with how you practice parenting, it has much more to do with the perspective you approach it with. Are you doing what is best for your family? Your marriage? Your children? Then, by all means, you are mom enough.

I’m not parenting alone either. I have a wonderful partner by my side sharing in the responsibility. I have parents and in-laws who set a beautiful example of parenting. I learn from their mistakes and grow from their victories. I have siblings who are modeling parenting beside me each day with their own children and two sisters who fill the void only an auntie can. Our little village gives me the support I need to be the best mama every day. When I need a break, they are there. When I need advice or comfort or my fears calmed, I can turn to my village and know that I’m not doing this alone. It’s a lovely thing to know that although I bear many of the late nights and snot on my own, I’m not alone in this journey.

On a completely different train of thought, I want to draw attention to Kristen’s post, Where Is the Mommy-War for the Motherless Child? When Time’s article first came out I felt bound to support the amazing mamas pictured … I know and respect one dearly (Dionna Ford of Code Name: Mama) and am definitely a supporter of many attachment parenting tenants. I even tweeted:

I think the mama’s featured were brave to step out and not only share their story, but pictures of what AP families can look like behind closed doors. Although it is new and different for many to see a toddler or preschooler nursing, it shouldn’t induce shock – rather, a new wave of acceptance for what these families choose as best for their children.

But then I read Kristen’s post and I re-discovered that there is so much more to motherhood than just deciding to breastfeed or co-sleep. Motherhood is truly a calling. It becomes part of your very being. When children are born to you, they take a hold of your spirit in a beautiful way. This bond evokes power and protectiveness. It causes you pain and discomfort; extraordinary joy; words can barely describe the depths of a mother’s love.

And to imagine that many children don’t know this love. They are motherless – no advocate, protection, or motherly love. They haven’t experienced the bond of someone who cares so deeply, beyond measure.

Kristen wrote: 

When it comes to issues of motherhood, there is one issue I care about: some kids don’t have one. All of these petty wars about the choices of capable, loving mothers is just a lot of white noise to me, Quite honestly, I’m often astonished at the non-essential parenting issues I see moms getting their panties in a wad about. Particularly when there are so many kids in this world not being parented at all.

This is the only mommy war I’ll wage.  I’m confident that most mothers are doing the best that they can for their kids, even if their choices are different than mine.  I think it’s ridiculous that so much energy is spent on debating largely inconsequential parenting decisions when so very little attention is given to the children who DON’T HAVE PARENTS. Why isn’t this causing outrage?  Making magazine covers? Inciting ranty twitter posts?

This is the war I’ll be involved in: We, as a society, are not doing enough to protect at-risk and motherless children, both in our country and globally. 

Before I found out I was expecting brother I was preparing to begin foster to adopt training. It is something Dominic and I feel called to do and therefore, it was one of my 2012 goals to complete training and be on the list to welcome a little man or little lady into our home … hopefully forever. The Lord had other plans though. This leads me to believe even more that He has the perfect timeline for our family. So glad to know I don’t have to plan out each and every detail on my own :) Brother is coming first and we couldn’t more thrilled! Training is on hold as we welcome brother and mold as a family of four. But soon, we’ll be ready for another, and I can’t wait for that journey to begin. It will hold new mothering challenges for sure, but I know the blessings with be insurmountable.   

Many days as I cradle Jemma and rub my belly I think about my other children. I have such immense love for Jemma and her brother. It brings me to tears to think that the others, the ones who aren’t in my arms yet could be feeling alone or unwanted. I want to find them. I want to bring them home, wipe their tears, and hold them all night. I want them to feel the peace and joy of being with their mama.

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Whether you are called as a mother to raise biological children or others you grow to call your own I hope you will hold the motherless especially dear to your heart. Pray for them, advocate for them when you can, support families who are pursuing adoption, and if you feel led, welcome them into your home and hearts.

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Thank you for visiting the I Am Mom! Enough! Carnival hosted by hosted by Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama and Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children.Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants and check out previous posts at the linky party hosted by Joni from Tales of a Kitchen Witch and Jennifer from True Confessions of a Real Mommy: (This list will be live and updated by afternoon May 28 with all the carnival links.)

  • Good Enough? — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy writes about how Good Enough is not Good Enough, if you use it as an excuse to stop trying.
  • The High Cost of High Expectations JeninCanada at Fat and Not Afraid shares what it’s like to NOT feel ‘mom enough’ and wanting to always do better for herself and family.
  • TIME to Be You! — Becky at Old New Legacy encourages everyone to be true to themselves and live their core values.
  • I am mom and I have had ENOUGH — A mother had had ENOUGH of the mommy wars.
  • Motherhood vs. Feminism — Doula Julia at juliamannes.com encourages feminists to embrace the real needs and cycles and strengths of women.
  • There Is No Universal Truth When It Comes To Parenting — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama discusses how parenting looks around the world and why there is no universal parenting philosophy.
  • Attachment Parenting Assumptions — ANonyMous at Radical Ramblings argues that attachment parenting is not just for the affluent middle-classes, and that as parents we all need to stop worrying about our differences and start supporting each other.
  • Thoughts on Time Magazine, Supporting ALL Mamas, and Advocating for the Motherless — Time Magazine led That Mama Gretchen to think about her calling as a mother and how adoption will play an important role in growing her family.
  • Attachment Parenting: the Renewed Face of Feminism — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children embraces her inner feminist as she examines how the principles of attachment parenting support the equal treatment of all.
  • What a Mom Wants! — Clancy Harrison from Healthy Baby Beans writes about how women need to support each other in their different paths to get to the same destination.
  • Attachment Parenting: What One Family Wants You To Know — Jennifer, Kris, 4 year old Owen and 2 year old Sydney share the realities of attachment parenting, and how very different it looks than the media’s portrayal.
  • We ALL Are Mom Enough — Amy W. of Amy Willa: Me, Mothering, and Making It All Work thinks that all mothers should walk together through parenthood and explores her feelings in prose.
  • A Typical Day Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares what a typical day with her attached family looks like…all in the hopes to shed light on what Attachment Parenting is, what it’s not and that it’s unique within each family!
  • The Proof is in the (organic, all-natural) Pudding — Kym at Our Crazy Corner of the World talks about how, contrary to what the critics say, the proof that attachment parenting works in visible in the children who are parented that way.
  • I am mom and I have had ENOUGH A mother had had ENOUGH of the mommy wars.
  • Time Magazine & Mommy Wars: Enough! What Really Matters? — Abbie at Farmer’s Daughter encourages moms to stop fighting with each other, and start alongside each other.
  • Attachment parenting is about respect — Lauren at Hobo Mama breaks down what attachment parenting means to her to its simplest level.
  • I am an AP mom, regardless… — Jorje ponders how she has been an Attachment Parenting mom regardless of outside circumstances at Momma Jorje.
  • The first rule of Attachment Parenting is: You Do Not Talk about Attachment Parenting — Emily discusses, with tongue aqnd cheek, how tapping into our more primal selves actually brings us closer to who we are rather than who we think we should be.
  • Mom, I am. — Amy at Anktangle discusses how Attachment Parenting is a natural extension of who she is, and she explains the ways her parenting approach follows the “live and let live” philosophy, similar to her beliefs about many other areas of life.
  • I Breastfeed My Toddler for the Nutritional Benefits — Christine at African Babies Don’t Cry shares why ‘extended’ breastfeeding is not extreme and how she is still nursing her toddler for the nutritional benefits.
  • I Am Dad Enough! — Attachment parenting does not only have to be about moms; their partners are just as important. In Code Name: Mama’s family, Dionna’s husband, Tom, is papa enough for lots of things.
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8 thoughts on “Thoughts on Time Magazine, Supporting ALL Mamas, and Advocating for the Motherless

  1. Jennifer Meredith

    SUCH A GREAT POST!! I'm so happy you addressed this exact topic! I couldn't agree more. Aaron and I have said (since before we had Casey) that we want to seriously consider adoption. We know it's all in God's timing and will, but we'll see what happens. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

    Reply
  2. Jennifer @ Hybrid Ra

    Although your entire post was great, thank you for drawing attention to the “motherless child” post. We all get so caught up in advocating for this approach, battling back against this critic, presenting facts and figures about such and such, but we completely fail at supporting those children without mothers. I cannot in a million years imagine what the motherless child goes through. I don’t want to because it hurts too much. But it is so important to be the voice in support of these children. I have been blessed with a terrific family and it is up to me, and other mamas, to do what we can to give a voice to the motherless children.So again, thank you for your entire post but again, for highlighting a topic that need to be brought to the forefront of discussions!

    Reply
  3. ThatMamaGretchen

    I'm glad you thought it was helpful/worthwhile to share! I kept second guessing on whether or not it quite fit this carnival and then concluded that it was where my heart kept leading too. Such a somber side of motherhood, to consider those without :(

    Reply
  4. ThatMamaGretchen

    I know that someday feeling!Right now I have 2 dear friends in different phases of the process and it is such a blessing to support them along their journey. I'm excited for my own to begin though :)

    Reply
  5. Amy Willa

    What a lovely way to remind us all that the whole Mommy-War thing is really just "a bunch of white noise" ! This seems silly, but every time I watch Army Wives, I'm very pleased in the decision by one of the couples to adopt. . . to give a loving home to a child who doesn't have one!

    Reply
  6. ThatMamaGretchen

    I keep hearing about Army Wives … I need to check out that show :) I'm always amazed by families that adopt – it can be such an emotional road before, during, and after!

    Reply

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