The History of Four Eyes

It was the summer before 4th grade. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky and my family and I were at a minor league baseball game. Not my favorite activity, but hey, what’s an eight year old to do other than tag along?

My mama asked me the score of the game and a squinted to read the score board. No dice. You see, my mama is a four eyes and she knew something was up. I remember her saying that it was time for me to visit the optometrist and I remember my heart sinking. How was I supposed to survive 4th grade WITH GLASSES?

The following week my worst nightmare came true. I mean, in the world of a pre-teen. I had eyeglasses. I cried. I sniffled. I dreaded the first day of school. Then, I showed up and guess what? I wasn’t the only one who had gained some extra eyes over the summer! Best of all, the one boy who I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt would make fun of me, yep, he got glasses over the summer too. #elementaryschoolkarma

In 8th grade I entered the grown up world of contacts and proceeded to go through a spell wearing only contacts in high school. In college I became more comfortable with glasses as a needed, but loved accessory and that’s when you start seeing four eye photos of me show up again. Once Dominic came around he started naming my glasses. I had the cheetah glasses, which he still hates to this day and therefore no photos of me exist in them.  When ever I wore then, Dom and his brother would make incessant cat sounds – it was too much to handle. The school teacher glasses which were my basic black rim option and my favorite of all, the Sarah Palin’s inspired by none other than the real deal.

These days, I split my time pretty evenly between prescription glasses and contacts. Glasses on overcast days or days when I’m gonna try to nap with the kiddos and contacts on sunny days (so I can still wear sunglasses). I’ve toyed with the idea of Lasik, but truly, I feel like being a four eyes is part of my identity. It’s not something I want to change. Plus, when it’s Jemma or Max’s turn for glasses (and with our family genes, there is no doubt that day will come) I want them to build their own history of four eyes.

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