One Hundred Lessons is my story. It’s the heart of my experience in motherhood and all the things, well 100 of the things, I want my children to read and remember. These bits are my hope for the future and my cherished memories of the past. Most of all, they are the beautiful moments of today that I never want us to forget.
You can read all the post from the One Hundred Lessons series here.
Hurt people, hurt people.
It’s true with little people. And it’s even more true with grown people. When you’re hurting, you push people away, because at the moment it seems like it would feel better to be alone. Or, to strike out and try to equal the pain you’re feeling.
Of course, in moments of sanity we know this isn’t true. Hurting someone else, whether physically or verbally, never makes us feel better long-term. It’s a short-term solution for something much deeper; something that takes time and effort to heal.
But time is rarely on our side and effort takes diligence many would prefer to ignore. And so, hurting happens. Over and over and over again. And the more we hurt inside, the more we will most likely hurt others. It’s a vicious circle that takes intentionality to break.
So here’s the thing, my little ones, right now when you’re in the throws of tantrums and overflowing emotion, when you push and scream and yell, I’m going to hold you close. I’m going to help you tame those feelings and show you how to exchange them for love and kindness.
It isn’t easy. It will take us many moments of practice. But I will show you. It’s something I’m learning and it’s something I want to teach you.
When you’re older know that you can always run to me when you’re hurting, no matter what. I’ll hold you in my arms, I’ll take your racing thoughts and hurting hearts and do my very best to guide you towards resolution – for yourself and for those around you.
For now my littles, when you’re angry and pushing; when you’re trying to hurt me I’m going to wrap you in the biggest hug I can muster and let you yell and explode until my calm crosses to you. And then we can talk and cry and make things better. I’ll help you stop hurting so you don’t have to hurt others. It will be good practice, because in this life, hurting will never stop. The better we can become at processing it, the better we will ALL be from that point forward.