I went back to work … and survived

J Baby and I during our lunch break nursing session … such sweet moments in the middle of a busy day
There aren’t quite words to express all of the emotions I felt this week as I returned to work. It still feels quite abnormal to say, “I’m a working mom” as that was never my intention when I planned for motherhood. But still, here I am, a working mom nonetheless.
 
The first day was rough. Let me re-phrase – the entire first week was rough.
 
I got most of my tears out the weekend before and was determined to greet Monday morning with as much grace and charisma as I could muster. Thanks Dad for instilling in me the hope of optimism, in most cases it helps make life quite bearable :) Dominic went in to work late so he could help get me out the door on time. I ate a Luna bar on the drive. The morning was uneventful. 
 
Jemma arrived around 1pm for lunch as I plan to nurse her each day. We snuggled, she ate and I shed a few tears. Such is the life of a mom with residue pregnancy hormones, I guess. I made it home in record time and hit repeat for 3 more days to complete my Monday-Thursday work week. 
 
Jemma took, at most, 2 ounces from her bottle and/or sippy cup each day while I was away. Poor thing held out for mama time at lunch and my return home each evening. Her nanny did an extraordinary job each day and I am forever indebted to her. Jemma is one active, non-stop, attention-needing girl and our nanny has both the patience and grace to endure.
 
Over the course of the week I pumped about 70 ounces of milk in order to stay comfortable and help keep up my milk supply for when we nurse. I’m not sure if that’s normal, but Jemma is obviously not drinking that much pumped milk. So I’ll most likely be donating a good majority of what I pump. Especially because of my darn lipase issueMore on the donation process later, but I did start the process to donate my freezer stash which is effected by the excess lipase. So, soon that milk will be on its’ way to help another baby in need of breast milk. Every day we continue to nurse is such a blessing, I don’t take it for granted at all. I hope we are able to reach 6 months exclusively breastfeeding, slowly introduce foods and continue to nurse through her first year and hopefully into her second.
 
I’m trying not to think about Monday. But, in reality it’s right around the corner. I don’t think I’m cut out to be a work-away-from-home mama, but that’s the season I’m in right now and I’m going to do my very best at it. I pray Jemma knows I’m not leaving her because I want to, but rather because it’s best for our family at the moment. And, luckily, moments pass. Life will change. Then, before I know it we’ll be experiencing a new season of life. Praise the Lord for that! I truly hope it comes sooner rather than later …
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Comments

  1. says

    Gretchen you are passing through the trials of motherhood with such grace. I am so proud of you and Dominic for working so hard together to make it all work. I will be praying that each work day passes a little faster so that you can hold your baby in your arms :)

  2. says

    Gretchen! That is so awesome that you are donating your milk, I always saw posters when the twins were in the NICU for donating milk for the sick tiny babies. Such a great way to make a difficult situation into a very positive one. Congrats on making it through your first week back at work!

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